The tale of my best friend getting a boyfriend…or me losing my best friend
So my best friend has a boyfriend. Most people would think this isn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t be. I am only mildly clingy. I can’t be too clingy, she lives 2000 miles from me in a flat but beautiful area of the midwest and so she doesn’t know it’s her that I am talking about, I won’t tell you where. But let’s just say it rhymes with “Mantucky.” We have been friends since I moved into the dorms freshman year of college. She was posting “National Condom Week” signs. They were signs that had poignant sayings such as “cover your stump before you hump.” It was friendship at first sight. We shared random hookups, horrendous hangovers, holidays at her place and after I moved back to the land of sunshine and entitlement, long phone calls or emails. I had a serious boyfriend but still sent incomprehensible drunk emails and she patiently helped me through a breakup and getting my life back together. Then she got a boyfriend and she disappeared. They broke up and a week later they started seeing each other again, knowing fully well it wasn’t what either of them wanted. Now she has fallen off the face of the planet again. I even had a story about a crazy friend of ours to share and she never called back. I mean, who doesn’t want gossip about a friend nearly killing an ex-boyfriend. It was a classic. Yet, no word from her. Is this how it is? Is this how it is supposed to be? We give up everything for a boy we only slightly like. What do they give up for us?
I know I did this for my ex who we will call Switzerland because he was always neutral when it came to making decisions. Well, I did it in the sense that I allowed myself to think that I wanted what he wanted. Same bars tonight? Sure. Hang out with the boys again? Sure. You know, that sort of self loss…Mantucky really seems to have disappeared. Luckily I know his name and will hunt her down myself if she doesn’t resurface.
It’s interesting to see a relationship develop from the outside. To then watch it dissolve and then watch people be lonely and sad and come back together for no real reason other than to not be alone. Switzerland and I are doing this. We don’t talk during the week and then spend a day and an evening together on the weekend. It used to leave me feeling a little vacant but now I claim I have closure and control when really, what is the point of it?